1. |
minefield
02:44
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My life was given to me
I did not choose it
The knife I hold, I hold by choice
Don’t make me use it
I thought I knew my heart once
But I was wrong
I believed in love that lasts until you came along
Some days I feel fine
Others I can’t find a way across my minefield of a mind
What’s the point of breaking down a rightly bolted door?
What’s the use reliving what you’ve lived through once before?
I thought I knew the world once
But I was wrong
I believed in tenderness until you came along
Some days I feel fine
Others I can’t find a way across my minefield of a mind
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2. |
bird of prey
04:35
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Cut then touch me, mid-sting
Bird of prey the span of your wing is as much of a shelter as it is a prison
In the dark, where you fly, I look up and see half a moon in the sky
And I wonder if the other has set or risen
Your eyes bear a hunger of a dark and brutal precision
The moment I deem you conclusive you make a revision
I held my weight against the gate but I could not stop the flood
It hit, you hid and you draw from me so much more than blood
I thought I knew who you were
I thought you were my own kind
But it has been shown that I’m prone to being blind
Gag and rob me of air
Bird of prey the talons you bear keep us bound just as well as they keep us misguided
In the dark, where you fly, I look up and see a full moon in the sky
And I realize I am neither whole nor divided
Your eyes bear a hunger of a dark and brutal precision
The moment I deem you conclusive you make a revision
The only thing I want is for you to make a decision
I held my weight against the gate but I could not stop the flood
It hit, you hid and you draw from me so much more than blood
I thought I knew who you were
I thought you were my own kind
But it has been shown that I’m prone to being blind
How am I to decide what to keep and what to omit?
What matters most about the truth is how you chose or chose not to perceive it
Cut then touch me, mid-sting
Bird of prey the span of your wing is as much of a shelter as it is a prison
In the dark, where you fly, I look up and see half a moon in the sky
And I wonder if the other has set or risen
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3. |
marram grass
03:58
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I could feel the wind take to the sail and leave me without a choice
I could hear the deafening cry of the water drown out my voice
I've been dreaming in the marram grass all grey and green
I can't bear to face the daylight after what I've seen
Every afternoon is a blur of grey and blue as gulls go diving
Can you tell me why everything around me dies but I'm surviving?
You have hid among the thorn bush all green and red
You devour you destroy but never are you fed
I don't know how to love anyone the way you do
I don't know how to love anyone but you
Everything I feel moves like a colony of bees swarming
And that which I hold dearest has a habit of transforming
I've been drowning in the marram grass all grey and green
You seek neither sea nor sky but all that lies between
I don't know how to love anyone the way you do
I don't know how to love anyone but you
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4. |
no word of mine
03:18
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Your hands are wise and a ghostly white
And your smile is like a crescent moon
We used to sing together late at night
Now alone I try to recreate the tune
I miss the way you used to stand
Heart on your sleeve, hand in my hand
When you burned red and turned away
I knew exactly what to say
But sunny days are far and few
The weather changed and we did too
When you grew up and walked away
No word of mine could make you stay
You tend my bruises with your hidden kiss
And it brings me back to when I was a kid
You tell me that you never wanted love
But I think that we both know you always did
I miss the way you used to stand
Heart on your sleeve, hand in my hand
When you burned red and turned away
I knew exactly what to say
But sunny days are far and few
The weather changed and we did too
When you grew up and walked away
No word of mine could make you stay
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5. |
the ocean
04:30
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Into the eye of a storm I stare unafraid
To traverse the border of your palisade
By my hand am I befriended or betrayed?
Do I hold my knife by the handle or the blade?
It's bewildering to say the very least
How quickly a human can become a beast
Plant a seed and pray crops grow from west to east
Will our love bring us a famine or a feast?
When I can find no defense against the density of shame
I forget that though you are not at fault I am not to blame
My own eyes deceive me and I lose my grip on everything
When I claim the title of the coward you become the king
When we battle I let you win every time
Both of us well aware of the other's crime
When will the light of the sun expose the bruise
And allow me to resurface your ruse?
Though off-putting it is really no surprise
To discover pent-up panic in your eyes
It is no coincidence that you abuse
The one person you’re most terrified to lose
Bow in hand I tremble and lose sight of what I wish to claim
I try to steady my arrow, still uncertain of my aim
The target in sight, I wonder if it is a fruitless game
Is it futile to nurse a fire with a dulling flame?
When you set the trap
What did you intend?
I try without a map to somehow comprehend
The bait that reeled me in
The cage in which I'm caught
I hunt alone for what we once collectively besought
My lips part but not a single word is spoken
As I tilt my head to it in one swift motion
I listen but the silence is never broken
I hold the shell but I cannot hear the ocean
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6. |
pollen & burs
02:44
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Sap and pine needles all over the sheet
Pollen and burs in our hair
Flat on our backs in the thick summer heat
Hollering some sort of prayer
Do you see me
Sinking my teeth into the night?
Clenching my jaw beneath the sky?
Screaming into a beam of light
Why?
How in the world will we ever get by?
Doting upon every cobweb we find
Doing a dance with the day
Paying our missteps and worries no mind
Giving our whole hearts away
I see you
Sinking your teeth into the night
Clenching your jaw beneath the sky
Screaming into a beam of light
Why?
Without you how would I ever get by?
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7. |
something kinder
01:11
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When you caught my eye
Could you hear me screaming on the inside?
Did you see me leave my body behind in pursuit of something kinder?
When I caught my breath
I could feel it sinking down into my chest, pulsing like a bee sting
No, I never really knew you
Lord knows I tried to
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8. |
a wreath
03:23
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I've never been blessed to see
The world through the eyes that rest
Just underneath your brow
Until now
I've never been moved to know
The inside of the undertow
Pulling us in then letting go
Somehow
Until now
It is such a beautiful thing
It is such a beautiful thing to feel it now
I have never truly thought
That mine could be the love you sought
Despite what you will and will not avow
Until now
I've never endured the bite
Of a union shot down in mid-flight
Before I could even recite my vow
Until now
It is such a beautiful thing
It is such a beautiful thing to feel it now
Honest as the evergreen
That I saw woven clear and clean
Into a ring and made into a wreath
Was the silence I incurred
In spite of which I overheard
Hope, sung, through my own teeth
When my body is caught beneath the bough
Of your stare, not unlike a tree somehow,
I remain there as long as time will allow
It is such a beautiful thing to feel it now
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9. |
i've been thinking
03:11
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I've been thinking about where to lay the blame
I've been thinking about the way you say my name
I won't let myself give any of my love to you
For I am afraid of what may happen if I do
I've been dreaming about what I'm meant to say
I've been dreaming about how to run away
I won't let myself give any of my love to you
For I am afraid of what may happen if I do
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10. |
your letter
03:36
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I am both fettered and numb under my calendar's thumb
The future's as wide as the present feels narrow when thinking about what's to come
The past is a callous embrace, a treacherous place to get caught
Don't go putting your faith into memories they will deceive you more often than not
Yours is a memory to which I return
When I don't know what I want or need
Yours is a letter I refuse to burn
But can't bring myself to read
I am alone and awake, fixating on a mistake
Inwardly maimed, I'm ashamed and I'm sure you're no more than the choices you make
Nothing could frighten me more than that which evolves in my mind
There's no greater sedative, poison, or medicine than the passing of time
Ours was a carelessly uprooted seed
A ghost, to which I cannot help but return
I felt it die when I felt you and me
Growing worn and taciturn
Still to your memory I choose to return
It's my fault and my fault alone that I bleed
Yours is a letter I refuse to burn
But can't bring myself to read
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11. |
in full
02:35
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I wish I could soothe every inch of your mind
And keep all the things that I must leave behind
If I could I would lift all that burdens you so
And leave you laughing when I go
I wish I could soften the darkness we've seen
And understand fully the difference between
What is grown and what is undeniably not
And live in full the life I've got
I wish I could know what it means to be you
And learn how to feel in the way that you do
If it were up to me we would always be wise
And love in full until it dies
I wish I could hold you when things fall apart
I wish I could fill every hole in your heart
If I could I would lift all that burdens you so
And leave you laughing when I go
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12. |
over the stone
03:54
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Over the stone
Up the stairs to the porch and the open door
Where I'm whole and I reach myself eagerly out
For a taste of the water's expanse
Where the cattails grow wild and dance
Where it won't take long for my heart to relearn their song
So many birds
Move about while we sit and we talk
They flutter and sing and they flee at the sight of the hawk
We gather ourselves for a walk
We note every flower in bloom
And I follow suit when you doze down below the moon
Out in the yard
By the pit and the wood piled high
The morning seeps in
And I wake to a cicada's cry
I want to believe in something as firmly as you believe in everyone
Underneath the burning sun
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Hoonah Massachusetts
Hoonah is Sarah Smith, a songwriter and performer based out of Western Massachusetts.
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I love this record. And all of your records. :)
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